trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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