He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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