sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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