he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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