no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just invented taco cereal.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
