I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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