I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
