so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
