Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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