Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
