My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
