This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize