Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
