If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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