My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
