i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
