Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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