nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
