Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
