I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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