i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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