You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize