That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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