Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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