i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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