oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
