he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
