After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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