why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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