I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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