Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
