She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
