Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
