I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
