Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
