Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
