Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
