you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
