There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did you just see the Batmobile???
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
