how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize