Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
