I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
