I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
