sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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