i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize