you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
