oh god the rape fog is back!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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