Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
