he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
