Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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