take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize