Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's blow job season.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
