yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
