Can Purell be used as lube?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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