He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
