I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can you bring me the toilet please
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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