So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
