I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
