When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
