Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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