i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
