Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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