um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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