It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
