I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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