I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
