he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
