What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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